On fb, and social networks I read about the recent tragedies that hit people in the Philippines, and tragedies across the world, family deaths, poverty, displacements and sufferings on an international to a national level, to even a local community level, and then birthdays, weddings, happy occasions, and I have a negotiation going on between me and my self regarding what emotion to feel.

The reason I’m having this negotiation is because partitioning my emotions is not an option for me.

What I mean to say is that I don’t know how to be sad enough for someone and happy enough for someone else at the same time, because I simply feel that I don’t do each individual emotion, justice.

I think, although it was tough for man to live before the virtual world made this world so small, was a happier man because they were able to give their whole them to every emotion.

I express my sincere apologies to all of those who are dealing with a suffering or a happy occasion.

I apologies for falling short.

I apologies for simply not being able to give you all of me and be fully compassionate with you.

Please forgive me and know that it is not me who is intentionally ignoring your pain, or happy occasion. It is not me who doesn’t care about every you, but it is the time that we are living in.

It is the slavery age that obligates each one of us to give a mandatory time of our lives just to simply survive. To simply fulfill our duties, and responsibilities.

And I promise you that I had acknowledged this negotiation between me and my self, and I am working on it daily to make it better inshaAllah