On fb, and social networks I read about the recent tragedies that hit people in the Philippines, and tragedies across the world, family deaths, poverty, displacements and sufferings on an international to a national level, to even a local community level, and then birthdays, weddings, happy occasions, and I have a negotiation going on between me and my self regarding what emotion to feel.

The reason I’m having this negotiation is because partitioning my emotions is not an option for me.

What I mean to say is that I don’t know how to be sad enough for someone and happy enough for someone else at the same time, because I simply feel that I don’t do each individual emotion, justice.

I think, although it was tough for man to live before the virtual world made this world so small, was a happier man because they were able to give their whole them to every emotion.

I express my sincere apologies to all of those who are dealing with a suffering or a happy occasion.

I apologies for falling short.

I apologies for simply not being able to give you all of me and be fully compassionate with you.

Please forgive me and know that it is not me who is intentionally ignoring your pain, or happy occasion. It is not me who doesn’t care about every you, but it is the time that we are living in.

It is the slavery age that obligates each one of us to give a mandatory time of our lives just to simply survive. To simply fulfill our duties, and responsibilities.

And I promise you that I had acknowledged this negotiation between me and my self, and I am working on it daily to make it better inshaAllah

I am able, willing, open, and ready.

I had stripped my self out of what I had presumed was my identity.

Nationalism, Blood ties, Religious sectors, Societal impose-ments.

Cultural ideologies. I am unlearning knowledge that was planted in me.

I am undoing the my self that was imposed on me.

And so, I am ripping the me out of me. Converting, reverting back to my naturality.

Being a stranger in my own community. In my own family. In my own neighborhood and society. Being a stranger in my own bed, and environment. Breathing oxygen through your presence.

And, so; The process was something familiar to You! So now you say that you is me. While I’m still undoing the me from me. Coming into me while smiling, shines my sun.

Shaking the core of the core of me and me.

Your building my foundation from In to out.

You’re a bursting energy bursting out of the me and me.

Perhaps the me and me, can come together for peace.

And let the world know that a change is possible.

All you need is to be able, willing, open, and ready.

Not to change society.

But to bring our selves back to our naturality. That is Humanity.

One by one. It isn’t always fun, but so as medication when our nose is on the run.

And so my silent heart screams to the Healer. O Healer heal. Heal O Healer!