Most humans had been conditioned to do things. Some on a conscious level, and others, unconscious. Thinking is some thing humans do, so it’s included.

In our incognito thinking at times we find many answers that our brain already knows, but we are just unconscious of, because we are in a sphere. In our mind, we are the subject that we are focusing on, using our only means, our “Abused Mind”, to find a solution of how to fix.

In my humble opinion, a person who had an abused mind set, by parents, or their surrounding environment had been psychologically deformed. A Woman who had been raped, had been psychologically deformed. A Man who had been in the military, trained to kill, and exposed to war wounds, had been psychologically deformed.

When I say psychologically deformed, I mean that relative to an organic growth.

Abuse of any kind is a crime, and it is oppression. And it deforms our human brain, psychologically.

This is a fact. Whether we accept it or not, because in that case, we become “Unqualified” to determine our psychological health state, because the only means we have to use to determine our state of mind, is deformed. So that means that the root is deformed. And when we have a deformed root, anything we grow or build on it, will be deformed.

“Decorating a Mc Donalds, will not make it healthy. The only solution to make it healthy is to destroy the Mc Donalds, and build a Whole Foods ” I’m sure there are other solutions, please don’t quote me on this.

What I mean to say is , if exposure to this type of abuse, whether one experienced it themselves, or viewed another person experiencing it, when they are at an age where they had not been formed, yet. They had not grown yet , then there will Not be a healthy self that ever existed, so that person can’t return to their healthy self.

I think we now have a clear equation, that we have a subject, and that subject we both agree had been deformed.

Dr: Hadeil: says,  “I itch to verbalize a solution as I am writing this. Because people who are abused are in need of a solution, and yet inner compassion and self acceptance can never be replaced by lectures, quotes and quick fixes.”.

First part of a solution is acknowledgment. So, even if the subject has 50 degrees, and 70 Ph, d’s, and be the most intelligent person in the world. They still need to acknowledge, and admit that they are in need for help. Then help will begin to come.

Of-course it’s not an easy route, and of-course there will be a million reasons and excuses to fall off.

So the subject needs to be prepared, and ready to submit before the recovery process can even begins.

But before we go into the recovery process, let’s build some more solid foundations on understanding. and comprehending the magnitude of what we speak of.

It’s interesting that Dr: Hadeil had distinguished between the object of addiction, and the behavior of addiction. And acknowledged that it isn’t the object of addiction that is the problem, but it’s the behavior of addiction. And to me that’s like backing up your microscope to see the larger picture.

Dr: Hadeil: says: “In Psychological terms, the schedule of reinforcement is how praise or positive regard is administered and in this case because it corresponds to an intermittent schedule of reinforcement, much like gambling, the child’s behavior has nothing to do with the reward that they so desperately crave. The addiction is established when the child becomes compulsive in his search for the parents’ approval rightfully so which he never gets or gets at the whims of the parent.”

And in her words there’s a key. The problem is not in what we are addicted to, the problem is with our behavior. Our compulsive behavior is deformed. {The addiction is established when the child becomes compulsive in his search for the parents’ approval rightfully so which he never gets or gets at the whims of the parent.}

This tells me that a person who is addicted to cigarette smoking, although the physical addiction to the nicotine is valid and requires its share , but psychologically is not really addicted to the cigarette smoking, but is addicted to having an addictive behavior. So, even if it’s not the cigarette, there will be another addiction they will find.

Similar to a person who is addicted to heroine, while they are addicted to the substance psychically, but the real addiction is the psychological one, and the way it makes them feel.

But does that mean that it is only people who are addicted to substances who are the only addicts?. I say, Nope.

Addictions come in a physical, mental, and emotional forms.

And a person who has an addictive behavior, is a person who can have an addictive problem , even if they had never gambled, never smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol, or taken drugs. It could be workaholic, or shopaholic, etc…

They could have an emotional addictive behavior, where they get addicted to people. And this is when relationships with people become deformed, when people are viewed as objects, rather than people, and because of the influence of our mind over our physicality, emotions and spirituality, there’s a very very good chance that we are totally deformed, as Dr: Damian mentions. In which case, a new personality needs to be built.

And I personally think that it’s less effective to go deep into tangents of receiving, giving, and accepting love, abuse, forgiveness, or any other topic for that matter, before we first build a new personality, in a new mind. Because once we do, all past topics will be detoxified, altered, anew, and a new personality will be born. Human to human. Soul to soul. Heart to heart.

This feels like a mission to Mars. It is a one way ticket. There’s no coming back.